Since I’ve been unable to escape the city since I last wrote (yes, I do feel imprisoned at present) I’ll take this opportunity to write to you about an urban adventure. Kayaking on the north branch of the Chicago river. Urban but certainly not urbane!

It all began by my whining that I had not gotten my kayak out on the water yet this year and was itching (and that’s before I got near the river) to have a paddle. I had never been on the river and thought it might be an interesting perspective on the city. Stop laughing.

I found one other poor sucker to do it and she found two more so I am somewhat comforted in that I didn’t do this alone. There are witnesses! Besides…paddling in a tandem kayak brings out certain traits in some people. Even more interesting is when the pair are not a couple. For instance, who sits in the back? For some, is it the top or the bottom? For others, the controlling person? The larger person/stronger paddler? So many options and so little time. Ok, enough of the dime store psychology. On to the paddle!

We departed with no issues after modeling the PFDs and conducting a lengthy discussion on their potential uses as club attire. I volunteered to take the one bright orange vest we had and promptly placed it not around my neck as in childhood, but directly under my ass. It seemed appropriate at the time and hell, if I fell in that river, there’d be no point in trying to save myself!

As you would expect, our initial strokes (don’t go there) brought comical zig zagging across the river until we sorted out how to sort of work together. We zigged and they zagged and of course, we were bound to connect at some point. What I didn’t expect was the end of my boat partner’s paddle hitting me in the ear. Hard. And with the signature river slime running down the side of my face…I don’t know what was worse, the pain or the slime. Yeah, it was definitely the slime.

The initial paddles were carefully drawn so as not to splash or unnecessarily drip water onto ourselves. Paddling always seems to start out this way and quite soon afterward, it becomes clear that if you continue to paddle so gingerly, you will never get anywhere!

We did see some nice urban wildlife…a few large herons landing and taking off as we were approaching them. In all seriousness, if you like herons, it is a good place to see them up close. We also saw one wacky looking swan with all of her feathers going in opposite directions. I had to double check and make sure I wasn’t in 1982 listening to Devo. I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Maybe her usual featherdresser was away that day. Or possibly, she’d had a great romp the evening before, or she was modeling the new look for urban swans or just getting back from the club.

We also saw lots of floating, man-made stuff. Along the shores, tangled in the roots and branches, hanging out in the middle of the river with a life of its own. Maybe one day we’ll see it resurrected as an art installation at the MCA. And that was what was on the surface. When I stuck my paddle in the water during a break, I could go down maybe an inch before the paddle began to become obscure. Within a few inches it became invisible. What a contrast to Lake Superior last summer where I could easily see 30 to 40 feet down with perfect clarity.

A big surprise to us all was viewing an urban waterfall. It was about 4 or 5 feet long. The ground underneath it was an unusual shade of neon orange. I felt bad for any living thing that was drinking from it.

So in a nutshell…kayaking is fun, particularly in a tandem, however I’ll say it one more time…the Chicago River is urban, but certainly not urbane.

Happy Trails,
Vic